The Revolutionary Art of Forgetting: A Guide to Dissolving Limiting Beliefs

Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Neuroplasticity

There I was, staring at my fresh slice of pumpkin pie face down on the kitchen floor, when it occurred to me that this was a perfect metaphor for how we approach changing beliefs.

I could spend enormous energy trying to salvage that piece of pie—scraping off the dog hair, maybe even buying pie-protector gadgets from late-night infomercials—when really, the simplest solution is to cut a new slice.

This revelation came from reading about extinction in neuroscience—not the dinosaur kind, but the brain kind. And it made me realize that most of our approaches to changing limiting beliefs have been about as effective as a chocolate teapot.

Your Great Belief-Renovation Project (And Why It’s Doomed)

For decades, the self-help industry has sold us the same idea:

1. Identify your limiting beliefs.
2. Dig deep into their origins (preferably with tears).
3. Confront them head-on and, through sheer force of will, rewire your brain.

It doesn’t work very well!

And there’s a very good reason for this spectacular lack of success: every time you revisit an old belief to “work on it,” you’re essentially etching it’s neural pathways even deeper in your brain.

Dr. Karim Nader’s research revealed that every time we recall a memory or belief, we strengthen it. It’s like trying to erase a pencil mark by tracing over it with a pen.

The more you focus on your limiting belief about not being good enough, smart enough, or thin enough, the more robust and permanent it becomes.

That explains why your Aunt Mildred, who spent fifteen years in therapy analyzing her fear of commitment, ended up even more terrified of relationships.

That’s a sure way to become a PhD-level expert in your own neuroses—without ever moving forward.

The Extinction Protocol: Nature’s Delete Button

Here’s where things get revolutionary. Our brains come with a built-in “forgetting feature” called extinction, which is essentially nature’s way of saying, “You know what? Let’s just forget about that and move on.”

Extinction doesn’t destroy old neural pathways—it simply builds new, stronger ones that gradually overshadow the old. In other words, your brain runs a popularity contest. Thoughts that get the most attention win. Those ignored—like washed-up actors—fade into irrelevance.

Think about your childhood fear of monsters under the bed. You didn’t overcome it by analyzing monsters—you simply outgrew it by creating more compelling beliefs.

The Perspective Revolution: Borrowing Better Eyes

So how do we actually do this? The secret lies in perspective-shifting.

When I failed spectacularly at parallel parking in high school driver’s ed. I berated myself: “I’ll never be able to park in a city!” But then a bystander said, “That space is ridiculously small. The city should make them bigger.”

Suddenly, I wasn’t seeing through the eyes of someone “bad at parking.” I was seeing through the eyes of someone who understood urban planning challenges. I laughed, drove away, and never once questioned my parking abilities again.

This wasn’t positive thinking—it was genuine perspective transformation—the magic of borrowed perspective. You stop fighting your limiting belief and simply see differently.

The Art of Mental Shape-Shifting

The beauty of perspective-shifting is that it’s not about convincing yourself of something you don’t believe. It’s about discovering beliefs you didn’t know you had access to—like finding rooms in your house you never knew existed.

Come to think of it, I discover new rooms in my dreams fairly often—it suddenly makes sense.

Instead of battling your limiting belief (i.e. “I’m not creative” versus “Yes, I am creative!”), you practice stepping into minds that would perceive your situation completely differently.

Let’s say you’re convinced you’re “not creative.” Instead of fighting this head-on, imagine three different perspectives:

• The eighth grade art teacher’s eyes: Creativity is everywhere. Your cooking, your problem-solving, your home organization—it’s all art.
• The 95-year-old survivor’s eyes: You’re navigating a world of constant change. That alone requires creativity.
• The neuroscientist’s eyes: Every sentence you speak has never been spoken before in quite the same way. You are living proof of creativity.

This isn’t forced positivity—it’s mental alchemy or shape-shifting. It’s discovering you’re not trapped in one identity.

The Practice: Mental Method Acting

The key is approaching this as immersive experience, not an intellectual exercise. You’re temporarily becoming these people, adopting their knowledge base, assumptions, emotional attitudes, and information processing methods.

Here’s how to practice:

1. Choose a small challenge. Something mildly annoying, not life-shattering.
2. Step into another perspective. Imagine how an expert, elder, or even fictional character would interpret it.
3. Fully immerse. Feel their knowledge, assumptions, and emotions.
4. Notice the wobble. That belief turbulence when your old certainties stop feeling so certain.

Over time, this builds cognitive flexibility—the ability to switch perspectives on demand.

The magic happens in shifting between perspectives. You’re not just thinking about how these people might see you; you’re temporarily becoming them.

As you move from viewpoint to viewpoint, you experience “belief turbulence”—that delightfully disorienting moment when old certainties wobble. Your limiting belief doesn’t get destroyed; it stops being the only game in town.

The Neuroscience of Borrowed Brilliance

From a brain-science standpoint, perspective-shifting activates your default mode network (self-referential thinking). By applying your focus to a different “self,” you train your brain for agility rather than rigidity—like running your personal operating system on borrowed hardware.

And because you’re not directly attacking your limiting belief, your ego doesn’t resist. It isn’t defending against attack because there is no attack. You’re simply exploring alternative realities. Change feels natural instead of forced.

The Long Game: Building a Library of Selves

With regular practice, you build a library of selves—different ways of being you can access as needed. It’s like having a wardrobe of personalities, each appropriate for different occasions.

Limiting beliefs don’t disappear overnight. But they lose their monopoly. Instead of being your default prison guards, they become just one option among many.

Practical Magic: Making It Stick

If you’ve been part of my clan for awhile, you know how much I love practical magic! Here’s the charm:

• Start small. Five minutes of perspective-shifting beats an hour of intensive belief-battling.
• Practice daily. Use commutes, chores, waiting in lines, or coffee breaks.
• Expand gradually. Move from small annoyances to bigger life beliefs.

You’re not replacing yourself—you’re building evidence that you are not controlled by your limiting beliefs. That change is not only possible but surprisingly accessible.

You’re learning to hold beliefs lightly, and in doing so, discovering that you’re not the prisoner of your limiting beliefs; you’re also their warden, with keys you never knew you had.

So next time a limiting belief makes your life feel smaller, remember: you don’t have to fight it, fix it, or understand it. Just forget it long enough to borrow someone else’s way of seeing—and let your brain take care of the rest.

The pie, incidentally, was perfectly fine… once I let the dogs have it. I just cut myself a fresh piece. Sometimes the simplest solutions are the most revolutionary.