On Not Being the Best (and Why That’s Brilliantly, Awesomely the Point)

Let me tell you something deliciously liberating: I am definitely not the best at anything.

Not the best artist (I find painting quite challenging, in fact). Not the best writer, singer, workshop leader, mother, or friend. I’m certainly not winning any prizes for self-discipline, productivity, or achieving that mystical state of perpetual enlightenment where one never gets cranky about a neighbor’s lights flooding their bedroom at night (there’s a story there, but I’ll leave it to your imagination).

I’ve never been the standout star—the one everyone quietly agrees has “it,” whatever “it” is this week.

And for the longest time, that felt like life’s way of telling me I wasn’t good enough.

The Tyranny of “Best”

Here’s what nobody mentions when they’re busy selling you courses on becoming your “best self”: Only one person in the entire world can actually be “the best” at any given thing. One!

And here’s the kicker—nobody actually knows who that is. Including them.

The rest of us? We’re scrambling up an invisible ladder with no discernible top, comparing ourselves to carefully curated Instagram feeds, polished TED talks, and imaginary standards that shape-shift faster than you can say “personal development.”

We absorbed this message like background music that turns into an ear-worm: be the best student. The best healer. The best entrepreneur—one who meditates at 5 a.m., runs a seven-figure business by noon, and still has time to bake sourdough from scratch.

It’s exhausting. And more importantly, it’s entirely beside the point.

The Universe Doesn’t Do Duplicates

So here’s the truth that’ll set you gloriously free: You were never meant to be the best by anyone else’s standards. You were meant to be you.

There has never been—and will never again be—another person with your exact cocktail of temperament, talents, wounds, humor, timing, curiosity, and lived experience. No one else sees the world through your particular kaleidoscope. No one else translates inspiration with your specific accent.

That’s not a consolation prize for losing first place.

That is first place.

When I finally stopped trying to be “better than” and started focusing on being “truer to,” something shifted. My art didn’t suddenly become flawless—it became more fun. My writing didn’t win universal acclaim, but it became unmistakably mine. People started saying, “I knew that was yours before I saw your name.”

That’s when the penny dropped: Being the best is forgettable. Being yourself is unforgettable.

Where the Real Magic Lives

The pressure to be “the best” flattens us into boring sameness. It encourages imitation over expression, teaches us to file down our interesting edges, and sand ourselves into something more acceptable, more marketable, more like whatever’s trending this quarter.

But the magic doesn’t live in perfection.

Magic lives in the cracks. In the odd turns of phrase that are distinctly yours. In the slightly-off timing that makes people lean in closer. In the places where you didn’t quite nail it according to the rulebook—but you made it real.

Nature figured this out eons ago. An oak tree never lies awake fretting about whether it’s the most majestic oak in the forest. A blackbird doesn’t compare its song to the nightingale’s and give up music entirely. Moss doesn’t apologize for not being a rose.

Everything has a role. Everything has a place. Everything belongs.

Including you, with all your beautiful authenticity intact.

Your Permission Slip

So if you’ve been quietly telling yourself, “I’m not the best, so why bother?”—if you’ve been holding back your art, your voice, your gifts because they’re not polished enough, impressive enough, enough enough—consider this your official permission slip.

Create anyway. Share anyway. Love anyway. Show up in your own unmistakable, irreplaceable way, even if it doesn’t fit neatly into anyone else’s measuring system.

You don’t need to win at being human. You don’t need to out-master the masters or out-create the creators.

You just need to inhabit yourself fully and express the truth of your being without reservation.

And that—strangely, beautifully, magnificently—is something only you can do. It’s not that you missed out on being the best, but you’re good enough anyway.

It’s that you’ve always been exactly what the universe ordered. Party of one. No substitutions necessary—the best YOU anyone could possibly be!

Now go be gloriously, authentically, imperfectly you. Claim your sovereignty. The world’s been waiting.

Invitation

Much of my Magical-life Coaching is about unlearning this obsession with “the best” and returning to what’s true for you—your rhythm, your magic, your particular way of being here.

If you’re working way too hard, struggling to pay bills, not knowing which direction to turn, or just plain overwhelmed with life and all its challenges, there’s a much easier way to live.

It’s not by working harder, getting enlightened (though hey, why not?), following somebody else’s formula for success, or sacrificing the things you want, because that hasn’t been working very well. Has it?

I’ve discovered a more effortless way to live—easier, more abundant, and a lot more fun!

It’s all about trusting the flow of YOU—your authentic self. You may need a little help to find it (I did)… because, unfortunately, most teachers, parents, coaches and media hotshots have been leading you in the opposite direction.

If you’d like support with that, you can find more details here: https://magical-lifecoaching.com/